Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance (EBSNA): A Guide for Parents & Young People
Understanding EBSNA: When School Feels Too Hard
A guide for children, young people and parents
If getting to school has started to feel overwhelming, emotional, or impossible, you are not alone.
Many families experience this at some point, and it can feel confusing, worrying and sometimes even isolating. You might hear terms like school refusal, school avoidance, school non-attendance or EBSNA.
Let’s gently unpack what this means and what support can look like.
What is EBSNA?
EBSNA stands for Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance.
It describes when a child or young person finds attending school extremely difficult because of emotional distress, rather than simply not wanting to go.
This distress is very real and can show up as:
Anxiety or panic before school
Tearfulness or meltdowns
Physical symptoms (headaches, stomach aches, nausea)
Difficulty sleeping before school days
Withdrawal or shutdown
Feeling overwhelmed or exhausted by the idea of school
EBSNA is not about being naughty or lazy.
It is usually a sign that a young person is struggling emotionally and needs support.
Why does EBSNA happen?
There is rarely one single cause. EBSNA usually develops when several pressures build up over time.
Every young person is different, but common contributing factors include:
Anxiety and emotional wellbeing
Many young people experiencing EBSNA are dealing with:
General anxiety
Social anxiety
Panic attacks
Low mood or depression
Perfectionism or fear of failure
School can feel like a place where they must cope with many demands at once.
Neurodiversity and sensory overwhelm
EBSNA is more common in children and young people who are:
Autistic
ADHD
Sensory sensitive
Struggling with learning differences
Busy corridors, noise, expectations and unpredictability can feel overwhelming and exhausting.
Social pressures and friendships
School is not just about learning — it is also a huge social environment.
Difficulties can include:
Friendship struggles
Bullying or feeling unsafe
Feeling different or misunderstood
Fear of embarrassment or judgement
For some young people, the social side of school feels harder than the academic side.
Academic pressure and expectations
Young people can feel:
Pressure to succeed
Fear of getting things wrong
Difficulty keeping up with work
Stress around exams or homework
Even very capable students can feel overwhelmed by expectations.
Big life changes or transitions
EBSNA sometimes begins after:
Moving school or starting secondary school
Illness or time off school
Family changes
Bereavement or loss
Pandemic disruption
These experiences can affect feelings of safety and confidence.
What does EBSNA feel like for a young person?
Many young people describe feeling:
“Like my brain says school isn’t safe.”
“Like something bad will happen.”
“Like I can’t cope with everything.”
“Exhausted before the day even starts.”
This can be incredibly frustrating for them too.
Most young people experiencing EBSNA want to feel okay about school — they just don’t know how.
How parents can support a child experiencing EBSNA
If you are a parent, you may be feeling worried, helpless, or unsure what to do next. That is completely understandable.
Support doesn’t need to be perfect — it just needs to be gentle and consistent.
1. Start with understanding, not pressure
Try to approach the situation with curiosity rather than urgency.
Helpful phrases might include:
“I can see how hard this feels.”
“We’ll figure this out together.”
“You’re not in trouble.”
Reducing shame helps young people open up.
2. Think in small steps
Recovery rarely happens overnight.
Instead of focusing on full attendance, think about:
Getting dressed for school
Visiting the school building
Attending for part of the day
Rebuilding confidence gradually
Small steps are powerful.
3. Work with the school
Schools can provide support such as:
Reduced timetables
Safe spaces
Pastoral support
Gradual reintegration plans
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
4. Support emotional regulation at home
Helpful strategies include:
Predictable routines
Good sleep habits
Gentle morning transitions
Time to decompress after school
Validating feelings rather than dismissing them
Safety and connection are key.
5. Consider therapeutic support
Counselling can help young people:
Understand their anxiety
Build coping strategies
Develop confidence
Feel heard and supported
Having a safe space to talk can make a huge difference.
How young people can help themselves
If you are a young person reading this, what you are feeling is valid.
Some small things that may help:
Talking to someone you trust
Breaking school into tiny steps
Practising breathing or grounding exercises
Writing down worries to get them out of your head
Remembering that feelings change, even when they feel huge
You don’t have to figure everything out alone.
When to seek extra help
It may be time to seek support if:
School attendance is dropping
Anxiety is affecting sleep or health
Your child feels stuck or overwhelmed
Family life is becoming very stressful
Early support can make a big difference.
UK Support and Helpful Resources
If you would like more information or support, these organisations can help:
YoungMinds – Support for young people’s mental health
https://www.youngminds.org.ukAnna Freud Centre – Resources on anxiety and school avoidance
https://www.annafreud.orgNHS – School anxiety and refusal
https://www.nhs.ukNot Fine in School – Parent support and EBSA resources
https://www.notfineinschool.co.ukMind – Mental health support and guidance
https://www.mind.org.ukContact – Support for families with additional needs
https://www.contact.org.uk
A gentle reminder
EBSNA is not a failure.
It is a sign that a young person needs support, safety and understanding.
With the right help, things can get better.
If you or your child are struggling with school anxiety and would like a supportive space to talk, you are very welcome to get in touch.