Is Pet Grief a Real Thing?
Kie, my best friend for 14 years
Yes… it really is.
And if you’re feeling it, you’ll already know just how real it can be.
Pet grief is the deep emotional pain that comes with losing an animal who has been part of your life. But even calling them “an animal” doesn’t quite capture it, does it?
Because they’re not just a pet.
They are part of your family.
They are part of your daily life.
They are often the quiet, steady presence who sees you at your best and your worst — and loves you the same either way.
They don’t ask for anything complicated.
They don’t judge.
They just are there.
And when they’re gone, the space they leave can feel incredibly heavy.
What is pet grief?
Pet grief is the emotional response to losing a companion animal.
It can include:
Deep sadness
Loneliness
Guilt (especially around decisions made at the end of their life)
Anger or frustration
A sense of emptiness or quiet in your home
Missing the routine you shared
For some, it can feel just as intense as losing a person. And yet, it’s often misunderstood or minimised by others.
“It’s just a pet”, why that can hurt
One of the hardest parts of pet grief is trying to explain how you feel to someone who hasn’t experienced it.
You might hear things like:
“Will you get another one?”
“At least it wasn’t a person”
“They had a good life”
Even when well-meaning, these comments can feel dismissive. Because they don’t see what you had. They don’t see the relationship. The small everyday moments. The comfort. The companionship. The unconditional love. When someone hasn’t experienced that bond, it can be difficult for them to truly understand the depth of the loss. And that can leave you feeling alone in your grief.
My experience of losing Kie
Kie, who taught me so much about love and loss
I know this kind of grief personally. I had my dog, Kie, for 14 years.
He was my best friend, my confidant, my cheerer-upper. He was such a big part of our lives, especially during lockdown. He gave me structure, purpose, and so much joy during a time that felt uncertain for everyone. When I found out he had bone cancer and that it was terminal, everything changed. I stopped working. I focused just on him. I turned my sitting room into a bedroom so I could be with him 24/7. Any slight movement, I was there. Watching. Supporting. Making sure he wasn’t alone. A couple of weeks after the diagnosis, I realised I was already grieving.
What is anticipatory grief?
Anticipatory grief is the grief you begin to feel before a loss happens. It often comes when you know that someone you love, including a pet, is going to die.
You might find yourself:
Feeling waves of sadness even though they’re still here
Living with a constant sense of dread
Thinking “this could be the last time” during everyday moments
Trying to prepare yourself, even though you never really can
That’s exactly how it felt for me. Every day felt like it might be the last. So I made the most of it. Kie was spoiled, completely. He ate all the things he probably shouldn’t have. We shared fish and chips, pizza, roast dinners and a little taste of choclate! I took him out in his trolley cart so he could still go to the park and the forest, smelling all the things he loved. We slowed everything down. And we just were together.
Life after loss
It’s coming up to almost two years since I had to make the heart-breaking decision to say goodbye to Kie at the vets. And the truth is… it still affects me every day. He’s still in my thoughts. I still reach out for him in bed sometimes and he’s not there. I still cry. I love talking about him. And at the same time, talking about him can break my heart. People often ask me if I’m going to get another dog. And the honest answer is, I would love to. I would love nothing more than to show a rescue dog the unconditional love Kie showed me. But right now, my heart isn’t ready. Even almost two years on.
There is no timeline for pet grief
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. There is no “right amount of time” to feel this way.
Whether it’s weeks, months, or years, your grief is valid. It reflects the love you had. And love doesn’t just disappear.
You don’t have to carry this alone
If you’re grieving a pet, you might feel like others don’t quite get it. You might feel unsure whether what you’re feeling is “too much”. It isn’t. Your grief matters. Your relationship mattered. And you deserve a space where you can talk about them, remember them, and make sense of how you’re feeling without judgement. If you’re experiencing pet bereavement and not even sure how to begin understanding it, you don’t have to do it on your own. I’d be honored to support you through this.
You don’t need to have the right words. We can start wherever you are.